The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

This is a seriously creepy affair that follows the story of the young "Franzis" (Friedrich Feher) who goes to a fairground one night with his friend "Alan" (Hans Heinrich von Twardowski). They happen upon the performance of the coffin-dwelling somnambulist prophesier "Cesare" (Conrad Veidt) and his spooky master "Dr. Caligari" (Werner Krauss). "Casare" - who is all but skeletal in appearance, portends looming disaster for "Alan", and when he is found murdered next morning suspicions turn to this enigmatic pair- even though there is no real "evidence" at all! Things take an even darker twist when the anaemic seer predicts that "Jane" (Lil Dagover), a gentle creature admired by both the deceased and his surviving friend, is not long for this ...

This is the worst movie I've ever watched 15 minutes of. Lars von Trier once said he knew at the latest fifteen minutes into a movie whether it was worth continuing, and I took that advice to heart, so here we are.

Okay. Seriously. SERIOUSLY? Yes, 102 years ago, "cinema" was in its early years. Silent movies, someone on a piano going plonkty plonk while people were drinking moonshine, smoking plutonium and coughing up pneumonia. Great. How fantastically interesting in a historical perspective. (Seriously, though, it is.)

But hello, and welcome to reality in the now. This is absolute garbage. The only way this is useful in any way is as a source for memes. I'd like to see this with a death metal soundtrack. Or in MST3K form. Anything. ...